I was just having dinner with one of my best friends. Talking about all the shit that girlfriends talk about: life stuff-work issues, relationship issues, family issues and got to thinking about how often we are all honest. Honest with ourselves about what our issues are, how we hide from parts of ourselves (we all do it,) and with each other. I don't know about you but I connect most with people who feel real. Who's opinions and perspectives are sincere and authentic and aren't afraid to be really honest and say what they mean. The people in my life I value the most are the ones who have said risky but real things to me- called me out on bad behaviour, told me the truth about a relationship I wasn't ready to look at or given me feedback that I needed to hear. I don't know why it feels so easy to hide the nitty gritty from one another. Who are we protecting? The people pleasing aspect of whats considered polite in our society is so superficial that I have come to lose trust in those who can't get real and offer a dissenting perspective or honest take on something. I grew up being taught to be polite and say the "right" thing but really there's no integrity in that. The right thing to me is sometimes the unpopular opinion, the thing you say to a family member when everyone else thinks your nuts because they're too scared to say it, the moment you tell your lover what you're not getting in your relationship or a co-worker that they can't talk to you in a particular way. I have spent far too much time in my life worrying about pleasing someone else and thinking about being liked that I have often sacrificed the truth in a relationship. I don't intend to continue down this path- I intend to speak with truth. I think words have tremendous power and I think we have so much residual anger (aggressively or passive aggressively) in our world because we don't communicate in truth. There is nothing more liberating than saying how you feel and letting free the words that come from your spirit. This post is as much a rumination on speaking openly as it is a declaration toward freedom.
