What its all about.

Christmas is and has always been my favorite day of the entire year. In part the excitement of opening gifts, watching loved ones open theirs and then having an entire day to play, eat, laugh and laze around. My family take Christmas pretty seriously holding pretty solid to our traditions over the years. I love it, I love that we are dedicated revelers, veggers and happy dancers.  There is nothing better than getting a holiday to do nothing with the people I love most. 

Great Escape.

I would really like to be right here right now. Sliding down the dune and falling into the ocean. Not stressed about a damn thing. Just watching my daugher smile & dancing with my man. Seems simple enough, no?

reminder reminder reminder

Been a rough one, I need to keep this in mind...

1. 

Healing

My best friends baby is in the hospital right now, having a rough time with a bad virus. If you're reading this please send him some white light, say a prayer, think healing thoughts. Every little bit helps. 

Sundaze

What I wouldn't give to get to hang right here with my family for a few days...or weeks.

Personal responsibility.

I've been thinking a lot about the current state of race relations in our country lately and its pretty disheartening to say the least. The day the Ferguson verdict was announced I just cried. I cried all day. And then I thought, what do I have to be crying about? Am I ever going to worry that my child is going to be wrongly accused of a crime, shot for wearing a hoodie or profiled while driving? What do I really know and understand about what it means to be black in America? I don't. But to me the progress of our society (which feels creepily closer to 1950 America than what 2014 America should feel like) is for all of us to own our part. If white people can't at the very least accept that just by being white they have a privilege then I don't know that we can even start the conversation. I think we all need to check our own stereotypes (yes, I have them and they creep in when I least expect it) and start talking about the uncomfortable stuff and stop hiding behind the politeness of being PC and pretending that everything is ok. Because clearly it isn't. 

Note to self

Gratitude Wednesday

Feeling sluggish & tapped out today BUT I am filled with gratitude right now as the holiday is quickly approaching...

1. I'm grateful for the smell of pine! Quite possibly one of my favorite scents of all time, I love walking down the street and getting a random waft of pine from one of the many vendors on the street selling trees.

2. My assistants. They kick ass, keep me sane & make my job an absolute pleasure.

3. Yvette, our babysitter. She saves my ass almost every day, loves my daughter (the feeling is mutual) and makes me feel less guilty when I work late because I know she's in good hands.

4. Bing Crosby & Nat King Cole. Seriously nothing makes me feel like its Christmas time until I hear their voices singing the Christmas classics.

5. Homemade almond milk. I've been making my own the past few months and I'm obsessed. I cannot believe how easy it is (more on that soon) and how delicious. 

Goofing around with my team

Put some pep in your step.

It's a rainy cold nasty morning. Don't get grumpy, get some funk and turn yourself around.

Mane Moments.

Really lusting after this look. My hair cannot grow fast enough. 

Gratitude Wednsday

Today is a gray and sleepy day and all I really want to do is snuggle up with my family in bed all day. Instead I'm working all week (which I'm grateful for) but a family bed-in is still what I'm dreaming of.  I'm feeling so sluggish it's a challenge to write this...5 little things should flow out of my brain but not today. 

1. I'm grateful for good energy. Had dinner last night with one of my favorite people and it was one those nights of pure good vibes. Lovely & fascinating people all around. Good times.

2.  Walking to work. I've been shooting in studios the past few weeks that were within walking distance from my apartment and I love getting to wake up as I walk to work.

3. White floors. My boyfriend just painted our floors white and its stunning and fresh and the place feels like a little zen tree house. I love it.

4. Baby laughter. My daughter just started to laugh, real gut busting laughs and its the greatest sound in the world.

5. Friends who are family. I spent a lot of the week of Thanksgiving reconnecting with old friends. Friends who can make fun of you, get into the nitty gritty life conversations, friends who have your back forever. Friends who are family. 

Monday reminder

Life songs

At night as I'm putting my daughter down to bed I've been singing things to her about life in the form of a song. It's become one of my favorite moments with her (sometimes its the only moment I get with her) and it's really incredible. I sing to her about having the choice to choose to be whatever she wants, to explore the world, to remember to always find her happiness, to listen to her inner voice, to surround herself with love, with people who make her energized, to find the beauty in defeat and heartbreak.  The best part is she stares at me quietly when I sing these little improv songs and I feel like she can hear my message. Life is so stunningly wonderful and staggeringly heartbreaking and everything in between. I hope to help my little girl have a strong sense of self, an unyeilding ability to love and grow and an inner strength that can weather the toughest storm.

Grateful Wednesday

This time of year makes me giddy. From about Halloween until New Years Day I have a spring in my step. I love everything about fall & the impending holidays. I love that it brings people together, gives us excuses to see each other and celebrate (usually over homemade meals & great cocktails) and fills me with gratitude. Here are a few things that I'm grateful for on this Thanksgiving eve:

1. My family. Crazy, loving, hilarious, supportive & unconditionally loving, I am always aware of how rare it is that I love and am actually best friends with the people in my family. 

2. My agent; aka my business partner, my confidant, my pusher, my support, my right hand. 

3. Work. I love it, I love what I do & the people I get to work with. 

4. Fall vegetables. I am loving the farmers market bounty right now of sun chokes, squashes & beets. I have been inspired to cook again.

5. Home. Its not a place I spend much time these days but after a lot of resistance I have come to really love the tiny little tree house I live in. We have decided to stay put for a while so we're renovating it a bit and trying to make it feel a little more sophisticated & functional.  At long last I appreciate the fact that its a calm, quiet respite from the frantic pace of the city. 

My brother & family meeting my daughter for the first time

My mom & my daughter

Quit possibly one of the best teams of any job I've ever worked on. Ass-kicking the whole time & smiling (almost) until the very end

Affirming.

I had a rough morning today. Nothing dramatic, just one of those mornings you set out to get a lot done, get ahead of your to-do list, get up before the sun and it ends up being a semi-comical series of calamities.  One of those days you realize you really have no control over much so it's better to just let things flow and ride the wave. Except I'd had too much coffee and that wasn't happening. Funny thing that happens when you try to work against what is, you hit a wall. A mini-break down ensues that makes you realize you cannot keep going with your fists raised at full force.  So I came home frustrated and feeling defeated (with a crying baby who had surely picked up on my energy) and then I decided to change the flow. I turned on one of my classics: Louise Hay 101 Affirmations and decided it was a good moment to shift my consciousness. Sometimes you just need to shift your mental perspective. 

If you don't know Louise Hay I highly recommend checking her out immediately: http://www.louisehay.com/affirmations/. Its so simple but its so powerful. I dare you to try it for a week.  

Note to self

Denim Days

Lately this is all I want to wear. Super-sexy-worn-in-perfectly denim. All day, every day. 

Grateful Wednesday

Its been a pretty hectic few weeks and I feel like I haven't been getting to keep up with this blog the way I intend to but here's my quick list of gratitude for the day: 

1. I'm grateful for steady work. As a freelancer you often don't know when you're next job is coming in.

2. Soup. I love the hearty comfort dinners these crisp & dark fall nights warrant.

3. Good teams, good energy. My jobs for the last few weeks have been filled with great vibes & such positive energy.  It makes a huge difference when you consider your're spending at least 10 hours a day with these people.

4.  Cold weather clothes! There is nothing that makes me happier than a reason to rock chic coats, capes, boots and hats.

5. A solidly sleeping baby. After a month or so of wakeful nights, exhuasted mornings and bags the size of Alaska under my eyes my baby is finally learning to self soothe and we are all getting a little rest. 

Lazy day dreams

Its Sunday. And all I want more than anyting in the world is to be in a place like this with my family, laughing, cuddling, snoozing, watching movies & eating cheese puffs. 

Sunday

Happy Fall Sunday! Time fell back last night so its official: fall is here & winter is close on its heels...

Hope you are snuggled up cozy & warm at home....

Gratitude Wednesday

It's a crisp perfect Fall day today & I'm feeling grateful for so many things right now...

1. I'm grateful to get to bring my daughter with me on appointments. I've been previewing all the S/S 15 collections and love that I take her with me!

2. Soup. There is absolutely nothing better on a cold Fall day than warm soup. I've been getting really into roasting root veggies & pureeing them in my blender, add some tofu sour cream and  it is comfort food perfection.

3. Capes, coats & leather pants. Yep, I have been waiting all year to rock out my favorite fashion pieces.

4. Having an agent who feels like my business partner, cheerleader & my guiding force. She pushes me out of my comfort zone & even though I resist it sometimes, I am ultimately grateful beyond words.

5. Golden leaves. I love walking down the street and seeing leaves in various tones of gold & red. Sometimes all I see is a sidewalk covered in the fall palette & it makes me fall in love with New York all over again.

Finally cold enough (but not too cold) to wear my cape & leather pants. 

Exploding Heart.

That's what having a baby feels like. It feels like your heart is exploding all the time. Every single time my daughter looks at me and smiles my heart explodes.  It's incredible. Actually, there really are no words for this feeling. And when I see her face and see her excitement at the world around her it reminds me to drop my hard edges, lose my jaded perspective and see the world through her eyes a little more. 

Five months in and I'm already very aware she is more my teacher than I am hers. Have a feeling that's not going to change anytime soon. 

Note to self.

Just do it.

Do something today that scares the shit out of you. Don't overthink it just act.

Nothing in the world is more empowering than facing down a fear.

Note to self

I love this reminder. Have opinions. Hold them tight. Don't stand in the safe space forever.

Grateful Wednesday

Sitting in the warm & peaceful LA apartment my family and I have been staying in while I'm working on a commercial for a few weeks and I am filled with so much gratitude its hard to limit it to just 5 things I'm grateful for:

1. Working in LA with a client I love, a team that brings out my best & a city that I'm really beginning to fall in love with. 
2. The unyielding support and love I feel from my man. Working on an intense job with long hours I don't get to see my daughter or my boyfriend and I'm not always my best self when I get home.  My boyfriend has had dinner ready, the apartment glowing and is my biggest cheerleader when I've walked in the door every night this week. 
3. Mountains. And ocean. And Palm trees.
4. A happy daughter.
5. A day at the beach with my family. Oh yes LA, I could really get used to you.