Life songs

At night as I'm putting my daughter down to bed I've been singing things to her about life in the form of a song. It's become one of my favorite moments with her (sometimes its the only moment I get with her) and it's really incredible. I sing to her about having the choice to choose to be whatever she wants, to explore the world, to remember to always find her happiness, to listen to her inner voice, to surround herself with love, with people who make her energized, to find the beauty in defeat and heartbreak.  The best part is she stares at me quietly when I sing these little improv songs and I feel like she can hear my message. Life is so stunningly wonderful and staggeringly heartbreaking and everything in between. I hope to help my little girl have a strong sense of self, an unyeilding ability to love and grow and an inner strength that can weather the toughest storm.

Grateful Wednesday

This time of year makes me giddy. From about Halloween until New Years Day I have a spring in my step. I love everything about fall & the impending holidays. I love that it brings people together, gives us excuses to see each other and celebrate (usually over homemade meals & great cocktails) and fills me with gratitude. Here are a few things that I'm grateful for on this Thanksgiving eve:

1. My family. Crazy, loving, hilarious, supportive & unconditionally loving, I am always aware of how rare it is that I love and am actually best friends with the people in my family. 

2. My agent; aka my business partner, my confidant, my pusher, my support, my right hand. 

3. Work. I love it, I love what I do & the people I get to work with. 

4. Fall vegetables. I am loving the farmers market bounty right now of sun chokes, squashes & beets. I have been inspired to cook again.

5. Home. Its not a place I spend much time these days but after a lot of resistance I have come to really love the tiny little tree house I live in. We have decided to stay put for a while so we're renovating it a bit and trying to make it feel a little more sophisticated & functional.  At long last I appreciate the fact that its a calm, quiet respite from the frantic pace of the city. 

My brother & family meeting my daughter for the first time

My mom & my daughter

Quit possibly one of the best teams of any job I've ever worked on. Ass-kicking the whole time & smiling (almost) until the very end

Affirming.

I had a rough morning today. Nothing dramatic, just one of those mornings you set out to get a lot done, get ahead of your to-do list, get up before the sun and it ends up being a semi-comical series of calamities.  One of those days you realize you really have no control over much so it's better to just let things flow and ride the wave. Except I'd had too much coffee and that wasn't happening. Funny thing that happens when you try to work against what is, you hit a wall. A mini-break down ensues that makes you realize you cannot keep going with your fists raised at full force.  So I came home frustrated and feeling defeated (with a crying baby who had surely picked up on my energy) and then I decided to change the flow. I turned on one of my classics: Louise Hay 101 Affirmations and decided it was a good moment to shift my consciousness. Sometimes you just need to shift your mental perspective. 

If you don't know Louise Hay I highly recommend checking her out immediately: http://www.louisehay.com/affirmations/. Its so simple but its so powerful. I dare you to try it for a week.  

Note to self

Denim Days

Lately this is all I want to wear. Super-sexy-worn-in-perfectly denim. All day, every day. 

Grateful Wednesday

Its been a pretty hectic few weeks and I feel like I haven't been getting to keep up with this blog the way I intend to but here's my quick list of gratitude for the day: 

1. I'm grateful for steady work. As a freelancer you often don't know when you're next job is coming in.

2. Soup. I love the hearty comfort dinners these crisp & dark fall nights warrant.

3. Good teams, good energy. My jobs for the last few weeks have been filled with great vibes & such positive energy.  It makes a huge difference when you consider your're spending at least 10 hours a day with these people.

4.  Cold weather clothes! There is nothing that makes me happier than a reason to rock chic coats, capes, boots and hats.

5. A solidly sleeping baby. After a month or so of wakeful nights, exhuasted mornings and bags the size of Alaska under my eyes my baby is finally learning to self soothe and we are all getting a little rest. 

Lazy day dreams

Its Sunday. And all I want more than anyting in the world is to be in a place like this with my family, laughing, cuddling, snoozing, watching movies & eating cheese puffs. 

Sunday

Happy Fall Sunday! Time fell back last night so its official: fall is here & winter is close on its heels...

Hope you are snuggled up cozy & warm at home....

Gratitude Wednesday

It's a crisp perfect Fall day today & I'm feeling grateful for so many things right now...

1. I'm grateful to get to bring my daughter with me on appointments. I've been previewing all the S/S 15 collections and love that I take her with me!

2. Soup. There is absolutely nothing better on a cold Fall day than warm soup. I've been getting really into roasting root veggies & pureeing them in my blender, add some tofu sour cream and  it is comfort food perfection.

3. Capes, coats & leather pants. Yep, I have been waiting all year to rock out my favorite fashion pieces.

4. Having an agent who feels like my business partner, cheerleader & my guiding force. She pushes me out of my comfort zone & even though I resist it sometimes, I am ultimately grateful beyond words.

5. Golden leaves. I love walking down the street and seeing leaves in various tones of gold & red. Sometimes all I see is a sidewalk covered in the fall palette & it makes me fall in love with New York all over again.

Finally cold enough (but not too cold) to wear my cape & leather pants. 

Exploding Heart.

That's what having a baby feels like. It feels like your heart is exploding all the time. Every single time my daughter looks at me and smiles my heart explodes.  It's incredible. Actually, there really are no words for this feeling. And when I see her face and see her excitement at the world around her it reminds me to drop my hard edges, lose my jaded perspective and see the world through her eyes a little more. 

Five months in and I'm already very aware she is more my teacher than I am hers. Have a feeling that's not going to change anytime soon. 

Note to self.

Just do it.

Do something today that scares the shit out of you. Don't overthink it just act.

Nothing in the world is more empowering than facing down a fear.

Note to self

I love this reminder. Have opinions. Hold them tight. Don't stand in the safe space forever.

Grateful Wednesday

Sitting in the warm & peaceful LA apartment my family and I have been staying in while I'm working on a commercial for a few weeks and I am filled with so much gratitude its hard to limit it to just 5 things I'm grateful for:

1. Working in LA with a client I love, a team that brings out my best & a city that I'm really beginning to fall in love with. 
2. The unyielding support and love I feel from my man. Working on an intense job with long hours I don't get to see my daughter or my boyfriend and I'm not always my best self when I get home.  My boyfriend has had dinner ready, the apartment glowing and is my biggest cheerleader when I've walked in the door every night this week. 
3. Mountains. And ocean. And Palm trees.
4. A happy daughter.
5. A day at the beach with my family. Oh yes LA, I could really get used to you.

Lady, like.

There is so much soft, feminine beauty in the spring collections this season, I'm really feeling optimistic about the direction of fashion when I see palettes and texutres like these.

Rochas

Rochas

Valentino

Valentino

Valentino

Valentino

Miu Miu

Stella Mccartney

The skin I'm in

One of the greatest things that starts to happen after you have a baby is how you start to own your stuff. Partially because your new life is about efficiency and partially because you are thrown into survival mode, you stop indulging in petty insecurities and wanderings of the ego. You realize you have become a warrior by the sheer fact that you just grew, carried and birthed a small human and are now the main source of said human's daily livelihood. It is so refreshing to stand in this new space and realize that you don't serve anyone better (least of all yourself or your new impressionable child) by chiding yourself for those last 5 lbs that won't come off or feeling like you started your career a little too late or wishing you could become a zen master during rush hour commutes. 

It feels pretty damn good to get comfortable in your own skin. 

Reunited

Back with my baby and nothing in the world could make me happier. 

Note to self

Dress up

Now that I'm a mom and my body has curves in new ways I've been craving a bit of a style makeover. A balance between Sophia Loren (aim high, right?) ala Houseboat with a twist of Katherine Hepburn in Adam's Rib. Here's my a bit of modern mood board for the new look: